Both kids are napping, papa bear is in the shower and Belle is asleep by my feet. I've been waiting for this moment all day. Waiting to have a moment to sit and reflect about this year, about my family, about my blessings. All too often I end my days exasperated, my head hits the pillow and I aggressively fall asleep knowing that I will soon be awoken to feed a very hungry mouth. To put it simply, I'm tired. I don't have nearly enough arms, patience or pep in my step. That's not surprising, it's not news to anyone. But what does shock me is that simultaneously I've never felt happier and our family has never felt more "complete." Our little Teddy boy came into our home with his ravenous appetite, sweet spirit and goofy smile and doubled our laundry, eliminated sleep and spread so much joy. It's funny the way a tiny little thing like him can light up a home. We all crave his warm cuddles, look forward to that smile every morning and love to hold his soft little hand.
I feel like I've changed so much as a parent in the last two months, learned so much. I've learned that a clean home is my love language and what keeps me sane so yes even though there's two under two my house has never looked cleaner (I can probably owe some of that to my OCD too). I learned that although wooden toys and "letting her imagination run wild" are fantastic and something we enjoy from time to time (or let's be honest - on the weekends when papa bear is home), a good dose of Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood and a box of cookies never hurt anyone. I also have become a pro at ordering takeout (it's a talent folks, trust me), picking things up with my feet, putting two babies down for a nap simultaneously, using hats to hide week old unwashed hair and just being ok with not doing this, that or the other in order to just be with these babies of mine who will be pouty teenagers before I know it.
All of this is to say I'd "pick my problems out of a pile" because they're good problems. My dad always told me that just because something isn't easy doesn't make it bad. Parenting isn't easy, marriage isn't easy, babies and newborns aren't easy but it's all so good. I'm so grateful for a husband that wakes up every night with me to burp and then rock our baby back to sleep (the man doesn't have breasts but God bless him he would grow some if he could). I'm so grateful for my two yummy babies for making me into the woman I am today - they keep me honest, down to earth and humble and they fill that love tank up every day until it overflows. I'm grateful for our fur baby for forgiving us for forgetting to take her out and for taking one for the team when we don't have enough energy to play with her (though Birdie has been making a valiant effort in that department lately and I'm not sure Belle is so thrilled). I'm incredibly grateful for the family and friends who have been here for us this year to be a shoulder to cry on, to laugh with us, to tell us "let me help" when we won't ask for it ourselves, to forgive, understand and love us unconditionally because Lord knows we're often a hot mess. I'm grateful for our home, for laundry rooms and pantries and a microwave - guys I really didn't know what I was missing and I'm not sure I can ever go back. I'm grateful that we are blessed to always have food on the table even if it does come in a styrofoam box nine times out of ten. I'm also very grateful that sweatpants are kind of in this season and that nursing tank tops come in a myriad of colors. And I'm so grateful for this holiday season that is now officially upon us because it spells all my favorite things - family, heartwarming movies, hot cocoa, stockings, the best food, carols, presents and the chance to dress my babies in matching jammies!!
And a big thank you to all of you for your support, love, advice and just for being here!! Wishing you and your families the most wonderful thanksgiving and holiday season!!