, by Flora and Fauna
Quiet mornings in this house are one of my favorite things. Watching the sun trickle in through the thick of the forest. Hearing the rustling of the squirrels in the leaves and the plop, plop of acorns on the deck. Sometimes I can't even believe we live here - in the woods, on a mountain. A year later and it's still surreal to me.
We dreamed of living here since the day we got married but we didn't know at the time that we weren't ready. There were lessons to be learned, places to see and some much needed growth and change had yet to take place. In a way we both had to have our comforts stripped away before we could really appreciate life here.
By the time we arrived with nothing but hope and prayers we had learned to live from a place of gratitude and contentment. We had come into our own. I learned to be self-sufficient in the sense that I learned to rely on nothing other than God, my husband and myself. I learned to live for myself in the sense that I wasn't doing things to impress or please others - I was doing things that were in line with the person that I wanted to be. And most importantly I learned to give up control. For an extremely perfectionist, type A person as myself this was the hardest lesson to learn. And yet... I constantly repeat my dad's words to myself "All of life's anxieties come from us wanting life to perfect when it never is." Once I accept that life is and will be messy, unpredictable, hard and at times unfair, I find that I no longer fight life - I am able to embrace it.
We still get frustrated, disappointed and plain old pissed off sometimes but we try to always come back to our blessings because we've learned that at the end of the day the most important things in life are constant and that is each other, our love, our family, our life. It may not amount to much on paper, or look very imposing and yet it's... everything.
At 29 weeks I am feeling more than kicks, papa bear and I can actually detect tiny hands and feet! It's such a strange feeling to have baby bear moving around inside me (to the point where you don't have to feel you can just look at my belly), nothing on earth compares and nothing can prepare you for what it feels like. And I have to admit sometimes it just creeps me out.
We also purchased a stroller this week and that alone has made this feel more real than ever before. My feelings about baby bear different almost every day. Sometimes I can't wait to meet him/her and other days it totally petrifies me. Just this past weekend I was putting something away in the fridge and happened to glance up at the photo of baby from our last ultrasound and I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me... I wondered/worried whether we are at all ready for the way our life is about to change in just two months...
But I suppose you're never ready.
But today? Today I can't wait to hold this little munchkin in my arms!
P.S. Yes, I really do live in this skirt. It is a lifesaver!!
Even though my sickness/sinus infection continued into the weekend we managed to have a bit of fun. Saturday we drove to Charlottesville where we strolled through downtown and stopped in the most darling little baby boutique and picked up a few things for baby. We had lunch on the patio of a Thai restaurant that restored our faith in Thai food (our fave spot in Georgetown just isn't the same anymore, sadly). Oh and there was an awesome restaurant with a bubble machine that filled the whole street in front of us with bubbles! Bubbles are awesome. Bubbles at sunset are even more awesome!!
Sunday Kevin made us pumpkin pancakes (unreal!)! Well he made them and I fried them as I happen to be better at that. Later that afternoon he painted our brick fireplace white while I lay on the couch going through my fifth box of tissues... By the way it may be the cheapest, most drastic and best update you can make to a room! We are over the moon about the new look!!
I hope y'all had a lovely weekend too!
I'm 28 weeks today and a week into my third trimester. According to what everyone tells me this is when it stops being fun. So far it seems about right. For the past couple of months everyone has been telling me how small I look considering how far along I am. Now mind you the baby is measuring just fine at every appointment. Well I finally found out why I "look" small, I'm carrying super high and mostly inside. And I have to tell you it's taking it's toll. I've been having excruciating rib pain for the past week or so and it basically feels like my rib cage has popped open and splayed out, which apparently is pretty much what is happening. I can still wear all my same pants but bras feel like torture devices. I pray every night this belly will start to drop... at least a little.
I also have a yucky appointment today. I have my glucose test (ick) and they're be doing blood work in preparation for the RhoGAM shot I'll be getting later that week (turns out I'm Rh negative). So wish me luck with all this poking and prodding!
Basically a lot of not fun stuff this week but nevertheless I am still incredibly grateful for how healthy this baby is and that everything is progressing wonderfully thus far. We're almost there!
P.S. My cousin graciously gifted me her pregnancy pillow and it has significantly helped with the rib pain so if any of you have or will have the same problem I highly recommend it!
This weekend was all kinds of awesome. I think it all started when I baked brownies Friday afternoon. I totally forgot how long it takes to make brownies so by the time they were ready it was twilight, I had lit some candles and the smell of baked chocolate had permeated the whole house, it was kind of magical. I might need to bake brownies every Friday afternoon...
Later that evening my brother-in-law and his girlfriend arrived to spend the weekend with us. We just love having them over and Miss Belle is a huge fan of all the extra attention. We ended up enjoying a three hour dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, showed them around the farmer's market the next morning (they're now as obsessed with the fresh donuts as we are), introduced them to a surprisingly fantastic antique store just a few miles from our house and right before they left we took them to our favorite bbq joint where the waitresses call you honey and the food might as well come with an angiogram. It's the best! Good friends are hard to find and we are so grateful for them; for the comfort level, the great conversations and all the laughter.
Sunday we woke up to the most gorgeous morning - breezy and sunny. And there was no better way to spend it than having lunch outside. I truly was eating for two that morning and it was sort of glorious. Then we took a stroll through Bethesda down to a kid's toy store where I was practically in tears having to part with the softest, squishiest and most adorable seal.
We noticed so many babies while walking around that morning; tiny babies, babies taking their first steps and babies that just wanted to be held. And it just made me all emotional thinking about the fact that very soon I'll be able to hold our baby too! Gosh, December can't come soon enough!!
And speaking of babies I officially got my first real "craving" last week when I woke up on Thursday and couldn't get Sprinkles cupcakes out of my mind. So papa bear indulged me and drove me all the way to Georgetown just so mama could satisfy her craving. He's all kinds of amazing...
I hope all of you had a great weekend as well!!
It's 7:30 am and it's Saturday. I've actually been up since 6, wide awake. I stopped sleeping well about a month ago, which is unfortunate but it occasionally has it's upsides. Like today... when I just sat in bed looking at my family - my sweet husband (who when he sleeps breaks my heart with how adorable he is), my kitty and dog with their little sighs and our baby softly kicking in my belly. For that moment I was so overwhelmed with love and gratitude. And as the sun started to peek out over the treetops I thought about how we are about to become a family of three. Gosh that feels strange to say... And yet marvelous too.
I imagine that first winter morning when I'll wake up and see my family again only this time I'll be able to hold my baby. To kiss him or her. To tell him/her how much love they're being brought into and how much love they've already brought with them too.
I'm often anxious these days; there's so much to plan, so many unanswered questions and fears too. But today, today, I'm just thankful. Thankful for this darling family of mine, thankful for this life we've created and thankful for the new life growing in me. Sometimes I miss being a child, miss the freedom and how uncomplicated it was but at the same time I'd never trade it for this. Because as an adult we're given the gift of growth, figuratively and literally - we grow as individuals and we grow our families too. And that I have to say has been one of the most magical things about life to me.
*photo I took of the mountains one morning
*photo I took of the mountains one morning
This was the week when in the mornings you could really sense autumn fast approaching. But the afternoons were still strictly reserved for summer's last hours. I took the opportunity on Monday afternoon to capture some last moments of summer at the farm/school. It's a rather odd time now, this tug of war between summer and fall... Pumpkins are appearing everywhere and yet it's not quite jacket weather. Regardless we've had a beautiful couple of days and for that I am grateful.
I'm also grateful that the nursery is finally slowly but surely coming together. We purchased a gigantic dresser for all the little baby things we've been acquiring and it was strange to put away blankets and tiny clothes in the brand new drawers. Three months people! Three months and there will be a tiny person to wear those clothes... It's still surreal to me.
Looks like this weekend promises even lower temperatures so keep your fingers crossed! Perhaps we'll get to wear a jacket after all!