wind of change8:46 AM
Do you know that Scorpions' song I'm talking about? "I follow the Moskva, down to Gorky Park, listening to the wind of change." I grew up listening to it, it was on a "love song" compilation cd that the now defunct KLM airlines put out back in the 90s. The wind of change... I always felt that song had a lovely nostalgic and sad vibe to it and it's encompassed my feelings on life many a time over the years. Not so much the lyrics even but just certain riffs of the guitar here and there. I suppose this is a very roundabout way of telling you that the wind of change has come and blown into our house recently. It's come to blow us all the way to... HOT-lanta!! Yes, the city where the players play... (sorry I had to, I just couldn't help myself).
It seems that our time here at the cabin is coming to a close. It's a bittersweet feeling for sure, but at the same time we've never felt more ready for a change - it was time. You see we never saw the cabin as our permanent home, more than anything we saw it as an incubator of sorts, a place where we could get our footing back, figure out our future and start a family. Perhaps due to the fact that we married young, our early twenties were as tumultuous as they are for most - searching for meaning, searching for the right careers, searching for our calling, in short searching for ourselves. And I'll be honest with you - we made a lot of mistakes. Some of them we paid for dearly, some barely left a scratch and others we will forever be grateful for. We've grown up a lot since that day in August when we said I do (I swear when I look at photos of us we look like complete babies) and as life would have it we've become a bit wiser, a bit more hardened and a hint more cynical than maybe we used to be, but all in all it's made us better, I think.
We've been ready to break out of this shell for a close to a year now and we've been knocking on doors for over five months but our timing is not always God's timing and oof was our patience ever tested. There's nothing harder than feeling so ready for something and being told to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait some more and then still wait... Especially for someone as impatient as myself. I'm not going to lie there were moments on this journey where things felt incredibly dark, it seemed as though every door was materializing into a wall before our very eyes and by the end we felt completely boxed in, out of ideas, out of options, out of plans. And maybe we just weren't ready yet, maybe it wasn't quite time.
And then in one moment everything changed. We began to talk of our life here in past tense and our every conversation is now full of dreams of our future in a new state, a new city a new home. Life here at the cabin has been so quiet and at times lonesome but when we came here those were the things we craved. The silence, the solitude it all worked to help us grow - to mold us into the husband and wife and mother and father we needed to be. But now? Now we couldn't be more thrilled about the idea of newness!! City life (I've already researched all the Whole Foods, Trader Joe's and malls in the area and I quite literally squeal at the idea of having any of those less than 20 minutes from our house!!), a social life and something outside of the rural country life we've come to love. Don't get me wrong I will miss our dirt roads, farms and neighbors dearly but right now my heart and soul are craving something fresh and our home is abuzz with new energy.
I'm so excited to have the opportunity to live close enough to friends and family where they don't have to drive two plus hours to see us. I'm excited about the possibility of enrolling Birdie in some classes where she can interact with other kiddies. I'm just plain excited about everything! The cabin was our safe place, it nurtured and grew us but at this point we've pretty much outgrown it both literally (I was at a complete loss as to how I was going to fit two kids in this house) and figuratively and this change is going to give both papa bear and I the opportunity to grow in any and every which way that God sees fit.
On a more practical note I would be eternally grateful to any of you for advice about where to live, eat and play in Atlanta! We are beyond elated to explore this new-to-us city!!!