have a donut why don't ya?

10:13 PM

Today tried to be nice, it really did. There was the time on the swings at the park, it was truly lovely and Birdie does love those swings. There was a nice trip to the grocery store. And then the heartwarming news of the little prince being born. And I don't like complaining all day, it just makes me sound whiny and makes the whole thing significantly harder. Got to have a good attitude. I've just got to otherwise the whole thing falls apart. 
But by 10 I was done. I finally got a break from all the driving (taking papa bear to class, coming back to our "temporary home," driving to get groceries, picking papa up for lunch, taking him back, going to my parents house, going to Ikea and then back to my parents house and then, finally, eventually back to our crash pad) and slouched in the passenger seat. I was beat and I was done having a good attitude too. 
Sometimes I really do get tired of all this. We have a lot of freedom due to our lifestyle which I wouldn't give up for anything but... I get tired of schlepping all of us, baby included, and occasionally Belle (sometimes she stays with my parents for a few weeks so that she doesn't have to do our back & forth thing every week) between VA and MD. I get tired of not being home when I want to be, not being in my kitchen, not being able to cook or eat whatever I want. I get tired of the constant mess and packing that comes along with it. I get tired of messing up V's sleep schedule because sometimes it's just impossible to stick to it (traffic, a class running late, etc.). I get tired of not being able to focus on work, exercise, cooking, oh for goodness sakes anything because we're always running around. I get tired of not sleeping in our bed. 
Yep, that's about it I think... Oh no wait... here comes another one... I get tired of never, ever packing the right stuff and essentially hating everything I wear for half the week.
There. Now that's it. 
I'm a positive person, mostly, I really am. I'm all about finding the "silver lining" in everything. Papa bear and I make a good team, we're good at putting on a brave face, at not complaining and at helping each other see the good when one of us is down. But sometimes it's hard, and sometimes even, you just want to not even try anymore. And I think that's ok. 
Our life is wonderful, as I've said before it's essentially my dream life. But that's not to say that on mondays that are really MONDAYS I don't want to just wave my white flag and go eat a donut quietly in the corner. As a matter of fact that's exactly what I did tonight. It's not so bad if it's on a fancy plate right? Right???? 
Eh... here's to Tuesday! To normalcy and stability (maybe one day??). But most of all here's to our crazy life that six days out of seven rocks my socks off. That's a pretty good average I think.

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2 notes

  1. I know the feeling, flying solo this week with my two little guys while the husband is away on business. I had my two donuts last night at midnight as I was reading this, it really made me smile to know that we mothers can relate....thanks for sharing :)

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  2. It always helps to know we're not alone. You are a rockstar for doing all that you do! I know it's not easy and I just have one little munchkin to take care of :) xo

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