happy new year!

8:28 AM

This time last year there really wasn't time for resolutions or big declarations, we were just trying to survive being parents of a newborn. Our life was nothing but sleepless nights, swaddles, breastfeeding, rocking, changing and occasionally remembering to feed ourselves (showering was considered a luxury). Inevitably as the year wore on and our newborn turned into an infant and then a baby we created a workable routine for all of us. And it's been serving us well this past year. We sleep well now, eat more than one meal a day and some days are even able to surprise each other with our level of productivity. It's familiar, it's good and one would even be tempted to say that if it ain't broke why fix it. And yet...
And yet this year I'm looking to shake things up. If last year was about surviving then I want this to be the year I challenge myself. Nothing major but little tweaks here and there. We've gotten to a great place as a family of three and I'm rather satisfied with how the last year was spent. Although there certainly are handbooks on how to be a parents, some even go as far as to claim that one can be taught the fine art of being a "great" parent, but we all know that the biggest lessons and most valuable secrets are learned by simply diving in and finding what works for you and your family. Every child and parent is different and I feel like that first year is akin to dance classes where you all learn exactly how to shuffle all those feet just so.
This year I want to challenge myself to be a better mama. To slow down more often, to listen more and see the world through my little girl's eyes. I want to challenge myself to be a better wife - to find more opportunities for us be able to focus solely on each other and listen with both ears (as opposed to having one always be on the lookout for sounds of ripping, breaking, smashing or other general naughtiness). I want to challenge myself to focus on whatever it is that I commit myself to - to stop waking up late, getting distracted and to stop putting things off. I want to...

read more
wear pajamas less often
lose those last few pounds of baby weight
stop falling asleep in front of the laptop
cook more
drink more water and less coffee
dust more often
allocate more time for friends
budget better
worry less
see more good
become proficient at ignoring the bad
give more compliments
start every morning with my devotional
eat fewer chocolate kisses 
wash my face every night (not just when I feel like it)
dream more

But more than anything, when I look back on this year in twelve months I want to know that I gave my all to my family because when it's all said and done that is always the most satisfying way to spend my time. I want the passage of time to be perceptible instead of dribbling away into the void of internet, tv and other useless wastes of time. I want to look at my family and see that I made them happier by just being there with them.

The other day I was changing Birdie and since she's been dealing with a mean case of diaper rash (her poor, sweet little behind!!) I was just letting her hang out on the bed diaperless for a short while. In a year I've found that the best "product" for treating diaper rash is simply water and air. Well before you know it this girl is completely au naturel and happy as a bug in a rug. I am a big believer in nakey time for babies as it is when they are the most delicious so we jumped and tickled and laughed and rolled and before you know it a whole half of an hour had gone by just like that. Birdie was exhausted and my mouth hurt from smiling and my tummy from laughing so much and I just thought that if I was to have any resolution it would be to simply do this more. By the end she was too tired for much of anything except she would continually fit her forehead in the crook of my nose and if I moved even the tiniest bit, she would giggle. Hearing her laugh and feeling her breath so close to my face made me feel her joy in a way I hadn't before and it made me think that years later, when she's all grown up, I wish so badly she would remember this moment. Remember the way she would laugh with mama for hours and hours. I hope I can always make her laugh this much. I hope she holds on to this joy ever so fiercely her whole life.

May you be blessed this year. May you reach all those goals you are now setting for yourself and may your dearest wishes come true!

Here's to 2014!!

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