So about yesterday... You guys... It was seriously "the WOOORSST!!" [imagine that being yelled in Jean Ralphio's voice from Parks & Rec]. Everything went wrong. Starting with the night before when V decided that she was just going to wake up every hour on the dot just to vex us and turn us into zombies the next day. Then like an idiot I chug a mug of coffee first thing in the morning so "napping while the baby naps" goes right out of the window. I was a sorry mess of a person. For the sake of not being a bore I'll wrap up the rest for you - tipped over trash can full of the previous night's roast chicken remains, a much needed but elusive shower, not a moment to work, an extra yucky diaper and lots of crying (for us both). Actually it was, shockingly, my first meltdown since having her. I almost made it until papa came home but I think simply hearing his voice on the phone released the floodgates. And then, him being my knight in shining armor that he is he sent me off to the bath tub with a bath bomb and this month's Atlantic. I think it just all got to me, all at once. The changing, washing, lulling, feeding, rocking, playing, cooing, blah, blah, blah... 

And then as life would have it papa bear put her to sleep without me saying good night and I spent the whole evening secretly hoping she'd wake up right this minute so mama could give a kissy kiss goodnight. This pumpkin is a handful but gosh darn it if I don't love her more than I thought humanly possible. 

Today I got a little more sleep. Green grass seemed to grow over everything overnight. I put on my "spa" Pandora station and baked some cookies. And all the while she just cooed and played on the blanket on the floor... grinning away at something wonderful only she can know and see and I swear to God I thought life just can't be more perfect than this. 

And that is the kind of insane, contradictory human I am. 

But it's pretty awesome in the end. 

*Photos from a little family afternoon at the park last week