A [few] weeks worth of odds & ends

11:38 AM

I’m really pleased with a recent trend I’ve begun to see when it comes to blogging – a return to honest, open and genuine writing. No frills, no expectations to fulfill and no molds to fit. Just a voice and a memory, a belief or a story. I’ve shared before about the journey that I’ve been on the past couple of years to find my own voice and I am now finally finding one of the biggest missing components – inspiration. I have actually stopped reading a lot of popular blogs that I’ve been reading for years because most of them have become nothing but ads and sanitized posts. And I don’t blame them, I’m sure I would find it physically impossible to be open anymore if I knew thousands of people would be dissecting my every word. That’s why I like my little corner here, its quiet and secluded and I feel like I can really think and write. 
And so I’ll be honest with you. Apart from some brief shimmering weekends the past couple of weeks have been tough. The end of a school year is hard for any teacher and it’s no different for papa bear. There have been a lot of late, late, late nights at our house with stacks of papers littering our bed. His days at school have been long and exhausting and on top of that we started commuting to DC this month for his adjunct classes. Now let me tell you commuting to a different state with a baby in tow is not necessarily my idea of fun. Our weeks end up looking like - do laundry, pack, unpack, pack, unpack, do laundry, pack… Some days it feels like time is just evaporating into the air and we hit the bed half asleep. I sometimes lose track of what we’re supposed to do, when and where. Planning our days and week’s feels like some sort of puzzle. Poor V eats so many of her meals in her car seat and I have become very efficient at packing. 
It’s a crazy dance but in the end we feel like it’s worth it. These sacrifices of stability and routine come in exchange for feeling like we have true ownership of our time. Our life is hectic but it’s hectic because and when we want it to be. And to us, right now, that feels right. 
And don’t get me wrong, there is so much good even amid all of the crazy. There have been lots of home cooked meals since we switched Birdie to a 7 pm bedtime and going out is no longer an option. We’ve become quite the avid coffee drinkers and that has lead us to discover quite literally the best cup of coffee in all the land located just a few minutes from our house (Starbucks has now become my idea of a “serviceable” cup of coffee but no longer a “good” one).  There have been rainy days and playing new records on a continuous loop. Kitchen sink bubble baths, family date nights (not sure if that’s a thing but we’re kind of sort of making it a thing), ice cream cones and evening walks after the sun goes down. Birdie is rolling all over the place, she gives the most yummy one armed hugs and gets the giggles. I’m trying to be a good employee, wife, mother, daughter and human being and of course failing miserably at all of those every day (I think God’s working on my humility big time this year). And papa bear? Well he’s our hero. He wakes up at 6:00 am (after helping with nighttime feedings), leaves the house by 7, works all day, comes home at 6 just in time to give Birdie her bath, helps me put her down and then (this really is the icing on the cake) asks me how my day has been… I’m definitely keeping him. Forever. 
And so we march onward. Tired, often shower-less, but always happy, always grateful. This life was never meant to be perfect but every once in a while she gives us a most perfect moment and those are better than gold.  

*All photos are from my instagram as wielding a DSLR with a baby on my hip is a tad difficult

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