A little dose of courage & why I blog

9:12 AM

I received an email the other day that reminded me of why I started blogging five years ago. That's right, I've been blogging on and off for over five years. I've stopped and started for different reasons though the more I thought about it the more I realized that the times I stopped I did it because I lost my spirit and a lot of the courage I naturally have. My voice would get quiet and at times be suffocated altogether.
When I started this blog this past fall I started from a different place and with different intentions. The goal was to write again the same way I had when I was a newbie. And slowly but surely I've been doing just that. However, this person with their kind and honest words gave me a much needed dose of courage that I've been lacking. Courage to speak and write from my heart with my voice. The years of maligning by others and the general ups and downs of blogging had watered me down to a fairly bland and boring version of myself. I would have moments where I would feel the old me pouring out onto my keyboard but I would swiftly sweep away all those letters until something vanilla and unoffensive remained.
You see I am not everything you may have surmised that I am. I am complicated, messy, sometimes sad and often happy. I am loud and opinionated (for goodness sake it's sort of prerequisite of the psychological field so you know... I like to think I know things). I am contradictory and often utterly ridiculous. But I've also gotten to experience a lot of crazy things over the course of this life - I've lived on three different continents, I've met so many fascinating people, I've tried so many things and I've been so many different people. I'm learning and growing every day and that in and of itself is something I'm deeply committed to. So it's not all outfits and cakes and pretty pictures - I have thoughts, feelings, opinions and beliefs. And sometimes these thoughts are stupid, irrational and all over the place. And sometimes (more often I hope) they're probably not. Sometimes they're not half bad.
Perhaps some of you have no interest in hearing that (probably all of you...) and that's perfectly fine. Perhaps some of you will at one point or another disagree with my thoughts, feelings, opinions and beliefs. That's totally fine as well. But I feel like if I continue covering my mouth with my hand every time I attempt to write something in this space, that to me is a journal of sorts, then this is no longer the space I want it to be.
I blog because I believe that with blogging on my mind I see beauty everywhere I look, I document moments that would otherwise be relegated to the deep recesses of my mind and often forgotten and because writing is something so integral to my life and this has been the most successful way of getting my thoughts down (unsuccessful methods include the two dozen journals in my house with about six entries in them each). And I wouldn't be honest with you if I didn't say that a large part of it is because I enjoy sharing all this with you (I will never lie and tell you "I just started this for my pet rock and cat and then ohmygoodnessfivebillionpeoplestartedreadingohmygod!!"). If it was just for me then all those journals would be full of writing. But they're not. And most importantly I blog because of the dear souls that I have been blessed with knowing since I started this journey five years ago. There are so many people (may of whom probably don't even know it) that have deeply touched and affected me. I hope you know that I cherish every kind word. There are comments, emails and tweets that are years old and I still remember from time to time and I smile when I do. I've learned so much about the beauty of human nature from this community - the way you share in our joys, sorrows and successes. You have the biggest hearts and I feel so honored to know each and every single one of you.
And so I want to make a commitment today to have the courage to share what's truly on my mind even if I don't think all of you will agree with me, even if none of you care. Because if I've learned anything in these five years it's that you never know how what you share on this space will affect someone. And just as I am committed to bettering myself I think it only fair to share the steps of this journey with you. Because I believe that together we can make each other better.

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10 notes

  1. Beautiful & truthful words! I love your blog because of the variety it shares - a glimpse into your life & finding the beauty in the every day, as well as your thoughts, insights & opinions.:)

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  2. Well said, you have just inspired me to write more often, thank you ;)

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  3. It's so easy to heavily edit and 'curate' to the point of feeling completely stripped of what makes you 'you' for the internet, isn't it? The level of exposure is intimidating, and everybody's a critic.

    Now, don't hate me (!!) - but I'll be honest about how I found your blog originally - through a website devoted to hating on blogs that I used to read occasionally. I was reading it out of this morbid curiosity, and feeling bad about myself for reading it, but the good news is I've found some great reading material through it - in the writers who they're so busy snarking about! Many times I clicked over to see what's so bad about some blog and found out, uh, nothing, in fact some of them are great.

    So all this to say, do your thing. Write what makes you happy, and what you want to share, because there will always be an audience for someone who is writing passionately.

    This part made me laugh: I will never lie and tell you "I just started this for my pet rock and cat and then ohmygoodnessfivebillionpeoplestartedreadingohmygod!!"

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  4. I also believe that together we can make each other better.
    And I love you.
    xxx

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  5. Love your blog. Daily read for me. I love how simple and beautiful it is. And bonus, our little girls are about a month apart so its super fun to see what you guys are up to :) Thank you, and keep it coming!

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  6. I would love to high five you right now! This is awesome and I loved reading it; Gained courage reading it even, for my own blogging.

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  7. I have been reading your blog for a while now. I have told you that I love the photography but more important I know you are a genuine. I connect with you through the love for nature and beauty.

    I feel like bloggers are walking on egg shells because someone will always have something negative to say. Forget the critics and write what you feel. This is your place to express yourself.

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  8. woo hoo! do it. and i like how you say we can disagree or not disagree, feel the same, not the feel the same. i always wish bloggers weren't so sensitive - and i'm not talking about when someone is mean or spiteful - but when someone says why they disagree, or why they see it differently and the blogger gets offended. are we only here to get back opinions that affirm what we think? come on, ya know! and i like that you pointed that out - looking forward to more of your writing!

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  9. Beautiful thoughts, I relate to so much of this. Thanks for sharing!

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  10. Thanks so much my darlings!! Your words warmed my heart and put the biggest smile on my face! I do this because of people like you!!! xoxoxoxo

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